Today was a bit rough on me. It started last night with painful braxton hicks contractions. I've been having braxton hicks for quite awhile now, but these were actually making me stop and concentrate on getting through. As the evening progressed they got worse, but they were never consistent. They just hurt, and I wondered to myself, do these really hurt this bad or am I just wimpy? They start in my back and slowly work to the front and I have to say they do feel close to what early labor feels like. Ugh. I asked my doc about it and she said I shouldn't worry until I have more than 4 in an hour. Thankfully they haven't been coming that frequently. They slow down when I lay down, so I've been off my feet most of the day to avoid the pain. Tomorrow we go in for our non stress test, so we'll see how its going then. Only 3 more weeks and I'll feel OK about going into labor!
After experiencing this for the past 24 hours I am reminded of my lovely back labor with Micah and I have to be honest - not so excited about that.
Livie is breech right now and we are really praying she gets into a favorable position before it's time. I've been trying loads of crazy positions to get her to flip, but from what I can tell she's still breech.
Livia is so active! As I feel her constant movement inside of me I am reminded of these verses:
"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16
He gives and he takes away. Livia's life and Amelie's life. He created both of our girls and has sustained them in his timing. Amelie's little fingers, toes, eyes, ears and nose were all intricately woven together by God himself from day one. It's still so difficult to imagine why God would choose to sustain Livia's life and continue to form her within my womb, while letting Amelie's life on this earth slip away. I do take comfort knowing that God ordained each of her days before even one of them came to be. It doesn't heal my broken heart, but it comforts my soul.
5 comments:
hey sista
hang in there praying for you. so amazed that God has given you such an active life in you, to remind you every moment without a doubt of his hand in your situation, your life, the moment to moment daily living. love you.
I love you so much Ames, reading these words heals my soul as well. Cant wait to see you and Mic. Maddie is already squealing with Joy to see her beloved cuz. Help is coming and its coming soon! Slave Sarah will be there shortly to attend to every whim and whine you may have...love ya!
your words are beautiful amy. you are in such a HARD season, thanks for giving us glimpses into your heart. you will treasure these posts one day.
ditto what Mandy said....your words are so beautiful and they simply reflect how beautiful and incredible you are as a person. Love, love, love you and am praying for 3 more full weeks of pregnancy! Oh, and praying that Livie turns - have you tried pelvic rocks? That's what I was told to do to get the baby in the right position.
Dearly beloved Amy, thank you for sharing God's comfort in the pain of your loss. Our hearts will always carry the memory of joyously expecting to meet both of our precious granddaughters, Livia Joy and Amelie Marie. We'll never forget the deep sorrow of saying goodbye to Amelie before we even had the chance to meet her. She will remain in our hearts forever. We keep thanking God for your faith in His goodness, that you let Him strengthen you, and give you comfort every day. We continue to pray Livia will come at just the right time, and we so look forward to holding her in our arms, and saying, "Welcome to the world, sweet Livie. We're your Grammy and Papa, and we love you so much.
Always loving you, and thanking God for you,
Mom and Dad
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