I wish I could tell you. . . . .
What it feels like to hope for a miracle; to hope that God, in his infinite power, would breathe life back into my daughter and make her well. I know it’s crazy. But I’ve never stopped hoping. I know that my God is capable and would do this very thing if it was part of his masterful plan. So I will continue to hope that it is part of his masterful plan until it is over. Not because it is logical or because I deserve it. Not because God needs to do this in order to prove something. Only because he is God and he can do all things, so I will hope and I will continue to pray for a miracle.
I wish I could tell you. . . . .
What it feels like to trust God so much it breaks my heart in two. To surrender all of me, every day, just to get through the day. To be so keenly aware that nothing else makes sense but to love him and trust him. And, in this moment to realize that loving him and trusting him is giving him complete control. I don’t like his plan right now. I’ve told him that he’s wrong. But I know that he can see the whole picture and his ways are not my ways. I’m trying to navigate through this life with my narrow view, but he sees it all and in the end, he is glorified and I am satisfied. Easier said than done? Yep. And that’s why it breaks my heart.
I wish I could tell you. . . . .
What it feels like to have thousands of people praying for me, for my family and for my unborn daughter, Livia Joy. I know that prayer is powerful and I have never believed in it more than I do now. I am strengthened because you all have been faithful to pray for me, my family and my daughter. God is close to us, holding us, and giving us peace.
Thank you all for your continued prayers, comments, cards, love and encouragement! You may feel words are not adequate, but we continue to find strength in your words. It’s a comfort to know so many are walking through this with us, grieving with us and rejoicing with us.
30 weeks yesterday. Go Livia Joy!
6 comments:
Amy, I thank the Lord this morning for your tenderness before Him. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." (Psalm 34:18)
He is saving you from so much. You could be living joylessly, in despair, with bitterness and fear driving your life. Instead, you're living that "saved life", embracing the truth---Amy, Chris, Micah, Livia Joy, and Amelie Marie are all being held in his loving arms. Every day is still filled with so much pain, yet you are finding hope, strength, courage and comfort as you grieve, daily pouring your heart out to the Only One who can see you through this time. I love you so much, Amy. Dad and I are so proud of you and Chris, and our precious little Micah.
Love and Prayers always,
Mom
Dear Amy and Chris,
Thank you for sharing and putting into beautiful words what you all are going through. You are in my prayers. I do not know it your mom shared with you. I was praying and saw you all (Bill, Mary Lee, Joni, Kevin, Amy, Chris, Micah, Josh, Sarah, and Maddie )upon the The fathers lap. The Father(He was huge) was sitting in a chair and you all where being held close to his heart. You were all so close to the Father and he could hear each one of your heartbeats. Love, praying continually, Karen
Love you, Amy!
Amy, you and your family are in our prayers. Praise the Lord that He is in control and holds us in His loving arms always! I understand your argument with God, as we all find times when we disagree with His direction. I am glad you love the Lord and recognize His control over your situation. He expects you to question and He knows you will listen. Keep it up!! We will keep praying! Lynne & Dick Ronk
Hi Amy,
I haven't been to your blog in a while and I was so saddened to hear about Mia. Both Dhrumil and I will be lifting you and Chris up in prayer during this time. We are also praying for Livie! Though I can not imagine what you are feeling please know I am thinking about you!
love,
ElisaBeth
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