on meltdowns and trusting God

Micah had a really rough day last week. He completely melted down at several points throughout the day and I found myself feeling very frustrated and defeated by his behavior. I kept thinking what happened? Why is my son acting out in ways that he hasn't for months? We have worked so hard on these negative behaviors and he has come so far over the past few months......he's not this child, what is going on?

After a few frustrating meltdowns I realized Micah had spent the night throwing up two nights ago. Then I remembered how your sleep doesn't really affect you until two days later. We stayed home and watched movies the day after Micah was sick, but we ventured out to get things done the very next day. Big mistake! He still needed some time to recover and I hadn't realized it.

This parenting-a-4-year-old stuff can get pretty overwhelming sometimes! There is so much about this little 4 year old stage that I absolutely love (the independence, the new levels of understanding, the learning), but there is also so much I am challenged by.

I try to keep it all in perspective (I'm really going to miss this someday!) and also remember these truths:

Sometimes it's just out of my control.

There are days when my child's behavior is obnoxious; this is simply part of growing up. My child is not always going to behave while we are out and I have to be ok with that. Relax. Take a deep breath and always have a consistent plan.

God changes the heart and I need to trust him with that.

I can teach my children everything I know about trusting God and living life with him, but I also have to allow God to do what he will do, in his timing. I have to trust that God is with my children when I can't be. He sees it all and his process can take longer than I want it to sometimes, but ultimately, the process belongs to him and I have to trust him with that.

Love first, then act.

Lately I've been trying to remind myself first how much I love my children before I respond to them. Sometimes I can be abrupt or harsh when I don't choose to respond through the framework of love. Sure, there are times when I need to be firm or even abrupt, but if I take two seconds to think about love, my reaction (and their response) is usually a little different.

I want to trust God with my kids and trust that he will use me in their lives to accomplish his work. Part of our liturgy on Sunday mornings goes like this, ".....give us courage, patience and wisdom as we bring them up. . . "

I love that part. It makes it all about how much we rely on the power of Christ in us to parent our children, which points us back to the most important thing about life: loving God.